the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
