google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
