Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
