Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
