did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and she was petting her beer can
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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