so that wasnt chicken after all
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
