i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
