I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize