He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
