Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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