Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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