i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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