see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
