i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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