So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
