Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
