Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
