we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
