I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
