So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
