it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
