too bad you live with your parents still
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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