I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
