I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
