Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
