Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
