I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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