i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
