The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
