I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
