All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
