Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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