dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Alive.
So much puke
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
