Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize