Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I FOUND THE LEGS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
