I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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