Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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