I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
