Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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