You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
