i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
