So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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