u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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