We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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