Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
