man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
