we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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