I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We need to get me chipped asap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
