He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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