I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
