So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
