I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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