I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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