That's intense
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
