Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize