dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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