Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
