We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
