By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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