i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
